Bahá'ís understand that the family is the basic unit of society, a microcosm of the world, and its unity must be preserved. Unless this all-important building block is healthy and unified, society itself cannot be healthy and unified. Monogamous marriage stands at the foundation of family life. Most societies and cultures recognize the family as a necessary and fundamental unit, but many changes are occurring to threaten its well-being and the happiness of its members.

Compare the nations of the world to the members of a family. A family is a nation in miniature. Simply enlarge the circle of the household and you have the nation. Enlarge the circle of nations and you have all humanity. The conditions surrounding the family surround the nation. The happenings in the family are the happenings in the life of the nation. Would it add to the progress and advancement of a family if dissensions should arise among its members, fighting, pillaging each other, jealous and revengeful of injury, seeking selfish advantage? Nay, this would be the cause of the effacement of progress and advancement. So it is in the great family of nations, for nations are but an aggregate of families. Consider the harmful effect of discord and dissension in a family; then reflect upon the favors and blessings which descend upon that family when unity exists among its various members. What incalculable benefits and blessings would descend upon the great human family if unity and brotherhood were established!

The conditions surrounding the family surround the nation. The happenings in the family are the happenings in the life of the nation.

Bahá'ís see these disturbances as signs of humanity's struggle toward a new age in its collective development, an age of maturity. The family, as the most basic unit of society, must in this process be remolded and revitalized according to the same principles that are reshaping civilization as a whole.

Unity in the Family

If love and agreement are manifest in a single family, that family will advance, become illumined and spiritual.

The Bahá'í approach to family unity combines elements of traditional wisdom with progressive principles and practical tools. Adherence to these teachings offers a bulwark against the forces of disintegration and a framework for the creation of strong, healthy, unified families.

The foundation and precondition for a Bahá'í family is the loving relationship of husband and wife. Marriage, a divine creation, is intended to unite a couple "both physically and spiritually, that they may ever improve the spiritual life of each other." A man and woman, having freely chosen one another and having obtained the consent of their parents, marry, according to Bahá'í law, in the presence of witnesses designated by the elected governing council of the community, the Local Spiritual Assembly. With the words "We will all, verily, abide by the will of God," recited by both bride and groom, the two commit themselves to God and, thereby, to one another.

One purpose of marriage is the creation of a new generation who will love God and serve humanity. The task of the family is, therefore, to establish a loving, respectful and harmonious relationship among parents and children.

Harmony and cooperation in the family, as in the world, are maintained in the balance of rights and responsibilities. All family members "have duties and responsibilities towards one another and to the family as a whole," which "vary from member to member because of their natural relationships."

Children, for instance, have the duty to obey their parents. They also have the corresponding right to be cared for, educated and protected. Mothers, as bearers and first educators of children, are primarily, but not exclusively, responsible for their spiritual education and the creation of a loving nurturing home. Fathers bear primary, but again not exclusive, responsibility for the financial well-being of the family and for the formal education of the children.

The personal moral standards promoted by the Bahá'í teachings condemn many of the agents that contribute to the break-up of families. Alcohol is forbidden to Bahá'ís, as are mind-altering drugs. No form of violence or abuse within the family is ever to be tolerated. According to the Bahá'í sacred writings:

The integrity of the family bond must be constantly considered and the rights of the individual members must not be transgressed.

The Bahá'í principles of consultation are tools for discussing openly, honestly and tactfully any problem which arises within the family. The goal is to allow "the truth to be revealed" in a way which will solve the problem to the benefit of all. When used by a couple or a family, consultation is a powerful means for maintaining unity.

Recognition of equality and the use of consultation allow a husband and wife flexibility to meet the demands of a rapidly changing world. Although men and women have complementary capacities and functions in certain areas, roles are not rigidly defined and may be adjusted, when necessary, to meet the needs of each family member and the family as a whole. While women are encouraged to pursue their careers, it is in a manner that does not conflict with their role as mothers. And fathers are not exempt from household duties and child-rearing.

When relations within the family are conducted with due regard for justice, it will be an important factor in bringing about peace in the world. When women are denied equality and respect in the family, men and boys develop harmful attitudes and habits which they carry into the workplace, into political life, and ultimately into international relations. As more and more children grow up in families where the rights of all members are respected and problems are solved with the benefit of consultation, prospects for peace in the world improve.

The following excerpts from the Bahá'í Writings illustrate the goals towards which Bahá'ís are striving.

"If love and agreement are manifest in a single family, that family will advance, become illumined and spiritual; but if enmity and hatred exist within it, destruction and dispersion are inevitable. How easily, where unity existeth in a given family, the affairs of that family are conducted; what progress the members of that family make, how they prosper in the world. Their concerns are in order, they enjoy comfort and tranquillity, they are secure, their position is assured, they come to be envied by all. Such a family but addeth to its stature and its lasting honor, as day succeedeth day"

"It is one of the essential teachings of the Bahá'i Faith that unity should be maintained in the home. The relationship between husband and wife must be viewed in the context of the Bahá'í ideal of family life. Bahá'u'lláh [Founder of the Bahá'í Faith] came to bring unity to the world, and a fundamental unity is that of the family. Therefore, one must believe that the Bahá’í Faith is intended to strengthen the family, not weaken it, and one of the keys to the strengthening of unity is loving consultation. The atmosphere within a Bahá'í family as within the community as a whole should express ... 'not dictatorial authority but humble fellowship, not arbitrary power, but the spirit of frank and loving consultation.'"

"In any group, however loving the consultation, there are nevertheless points on which, from time to time, agreement cannot be reached....There can, however, be no majority where only two parties are involved, as in the case of a husband and wife. There are, therefore, times when a wife should defer to her husband, and times when a husband should defer to his wife, but neither should ever unjustly dominate the other."

"These are all relationships within the family, but there is a much wider sphere of relationship between men and women than in the home ... For example, although the mother is the first educator of the child, and the most formative influence in his development, the father also has the responsibility of educating his children ... Similarly, although the primary responsibility for supporting the family financially is placed upon the husband, this does not by any means imply that the place of women is confined to the home."

"A family ... is a very special kind of 'community'....The members of a family all have duties and responsibilities towards one another and to the family as a whole, and these duties and responsibilities vary from member to member because of their natural relationships. The parents have the inescapable duty to educate their children - but not vice versa; the children have the duty to obey their parents - the parents do not obey the children; the mother - not the father - bears the children, nurses them in babyhood, and is thus their first educator, hence daughters have a prior right to education over sons ... The training which the child first receives through his mother constitutes the strongest foundation for his future development. A corollary of this responsibility of the mother is her right to be supported by her husband - a husband has no explicit right to be supported by his wife."

"According to the teachings of Bahá'u'lláh, the family being a human unit must be educated according to the rules of sanctity. All the virtues must be taught the family. The integrity of the family bond must be constantly considered and the rights of the individual members must not be transgressed. The rights of the son, the father, the mother, none of them must be transgressed, none of them must be arbitrary. Just as the son has certain obligations to his father, the father likewise has certain obligations to his son. The mother, the sister and other members of the household have their certain prerogatives. All these rights and prerogatives must be conserved, yet the unity of the family must be sustained. The injury of one shall be considered the injury of all; the comfort of each the comfort of all; the honor of one the honor of all."

Therefore in Bahá'í communities worldwide, new teachings and principles bearing on the equality of men and women, the true and ultimate purpose of marriage and of family life, the relationship of members of the family to each other and to society at large, and the education of children have been accepted and are being implemented.