Marriage, according to the Bahá’í Writings is a very sacred institution. Bahá'u'lláh (Prophet-Founder of the Bahá’í Faith) said its purpose is to promote unity. He refers to marriage as "a fortress for well-being and salvation." The Bahá'í writings further state that married couples should strive to become "loving companions and comrades and at one with each other for time and eternity...."

Bahá'ís view preparation for marriage as an essential element in ensuring a happy marriage. The process of preparation includes a requirement for parental approval of the choice of a spouse. This does not mean that Bahá'í marriages are arranged. Individuals propose marriage to the persons of their own choice. However, once the choice is made, the parents have both the right and the obligation to weigh carefully whether to give consent to, and thus guide, their offspring in one of life's most important decisions. This requirement helps to preserve unity within the marriage--and within the extended families. As did previous Messengers of God, Bahá'u'lláh asks His followers to honor their parents. Obtaining parental permission for marriage reaffirms the importance of the bond between child and parent. It also helps to create a supportive network of parents in the often difficult first years of a marriage.

Simple vows and ceremony

Once parental permission is obtained, the marriage takes place, requiring only the simplest of ceremonies. In the presence of two witnesses designated by the local Bahá'í governing council, the couple recites the following verse: "We will all, verily, abide by the will of God." For Bahá'ís, that simple commitment to live by God's will implies all of the commitments associated with marriage, including the promises to love, honor, and cherish; to care for each other regardless of material health or wealth; and to share with and serve each other.

Beyond these simple requirements, Bahá'ís are free to design their own marriage celebration. Depending on personal tastes, family resources, and cultural traditions, Bahá'í ceremonies run the gamut from small to large, including all manner of music, dance, dress, food and festivity.

As in most religions, the marriage vow is considered sacred in the Bahá'í Faith. The partners are expected to be absolutely faithful to each other.

The Faith's emphasis on the equality of women and men, however, and its promotion of consultation as a tool for problem-solving mean that the roles of husband and wife within a Bahá'í marriage are not the traditional ones. Women are free to pursue careers that interest them; men are expected to share in household duties and child-rearing.

"Bahá'í marriage is the commitment of the two parties one to the other, and their mutual attachment of mind and heart. Each must, however, exercise the utmost care to become thoroughly acquainted with the character of the other, that the binding covenant between them may be a tie that will endure forever. Their purpose must be this: to become loving companions and comrades and at one with each other for time and eternity ... Husband and wife should be united both physically and spiritually, that they may ever improve the spiritual life of each other...."

".... the life of a married couple should resemble ... a life of unity and concord, a friendship both mental and physical. The home should be orderly and well-organized....They should always be elated with joy and gladness and be a source of happiness to the hearts of others. They should set an example to their fellow-men, manifest true and sincere love towards each other and educate their children in such a manner as to blazon the fame and glory of their family."

Equality in a Marriage

While stating firmly that women must enjoy full equality with men, Bahá'u'lláh's teachings also recognize explicitly the innate differences between the feminine and masculine natures--both physical and emotional. Bahá'ís understand, accordingly, that mothers have a special role to play in the early education of children--especially during the first few years of life when the basic values and character of every individual is formed.

"Humanity is like a bird with its two wings - the one is male, the other female. Unless both wings are strong and impelled by some common force, the bird cannot fly heavenwards. According to the spirit of this age, women must advance and fulfill their mission in all departments of life, becoming equal to men. They must be on the same level as men and enjoy equal rights. Women have equal rights with men upon earth; in religion and society they are a very important element. As long as women are prevented from attaining their highest possibilities, so long will men be unable to achieve the greatness which might be theirs. Woman's lack of progress and proficiency has been due to her need of equal education and opportunity. Had she been allowed this equality there is no doubt she would be the counterpart of man in ability and capacity. The happiness of mankind will be realized when women and men coordinate and advance equally, for each is the complement and helpmeet of the other."

Children’s education

The key purpose of Bahá'í marriage--beyond physical, intellectual and spiritual companionship--is children. Bahá'ís view child-rearing not only as a source of great joy and reward, but as a sacred obligation. Since Bahá'ís believe that the soul appears at the moment of conception, the parents pray for the well-being of the unborn child while it is still in the womb. Education in general, and Bahá'í education in particular are of paramount importance in Bahá'í families. From their earliest years, the children are encouraged to develop the habits of prayer and meditation, and to acquire knowledge, both intellectual and spiritual.

"Ye should consider the question of goodly character as of the first importance. It is incumbent upon every father and mother to counsel their children over a long period, and guide them unto those things which lead to everlasting honor."

The Bahá'í Writings place great emphasis on the nobility of human beings and the importance of each person acquiring the highest qualities in order to serve his or her best interest, as well as those of humanity.

"The mother is the first teacher of the child. For children, at the beginning of life, are fresh and tender as a young twig, and can be trained in any fashion you desire. If you rear the child to be straight, he will grow straight, in perfect symmetry. It is clear that the mother is the first teacher and that it is she who establisheth the character and conduct of the child."

"That the first teacher of the child is the mother should not be startling, for the primary orientation of the infant is to its mother. This provision of nature in no way minimizes the role of the father in the Bahá'í family. Again, equality of status does not mean identity of function."

Therefore in Bahá'í communities worldwide, new teachings and principles bearing on the equality of men and women, the true and ultimate purpose of marriage and of family life, the relationship of members of the family to each other and to society at large, and the education of children have been accepted and are being implemented.

Divorce is allowed but highly discouraged

If a Bahá’í marriage fails, divorce is permitted, although it is strongly discouraged. If Bahá’ís choose to seek a divorce, they must spend at least one year living apart and attempting to reconcile. If a divorce is still desired after that year, it is then granted, dependent on the requirements of civil law. This “year of patience,” as it is known to Bahá’ís, is supervised by the local Spiritual Assembly, the local Bahá’í governing council.

The key purpose of Bahá’í marriage—beyond physical, intellectual and spiritual companionship—is children. Bahá’ís view child-rearing not only as a source of great joy and reward, but as a sacred obligation. While stating firmly that women must enjoy full equality with men, Bahá’u’lláh’s teachings also recognize explicitly the innate differences between the feminine and masculine natures—both physical and emotional. Bahá’ís understand, accordingly, that mothers have a special role to play in the early education of children—especially during the first few years of life when the basic values and character of every individual is formed.

Since Bahá’ís believe that the soul appears at the moment of conception, the parents pray for the well-being of the unborn child while it is still in the womb. Education in general, and Bahá’í education in particular are of paramount importance in Bahá’í families. From their earliest years, the children are encouraged to develop the habits of prayer and meditation, and to acquire knowledge, both intellectual and spiritual.